10.05.19

Genuine Friday: Daily family life and struggles with 4 children

Daily family life and struggles with 4 children

Hi there! And welcome to another reality glimpse of our family life. I am happy to see that you guys like to read these and relate.

And I think that is actually the main message here: You are not alone and we are all doing the best we can!

One topic that comes up every so often is the daily life. The normal things, the boring stuff, and the struggles. Especially when there are more children than adults. Since my usual reply to the question: “How do you do it all?” is: “I just do!” I had to write down a few points and things over a short period. Like gathering our daily stuff in bullet points to get this article together. Because I do not have every day planned out to the last detail and since we are parenting for nearly 12 years now, our routines are so implemented that I do not notice them so much or strongly anymore.
I hope you know what I mean!?

Therefore, I want to start with this:
Multitasking
Making dinner and helping with homework while searching for a missing you and listening to my tween upstairs looking for her favourite earrings. This may make me seem like the ideal multitasking supermum! Like I am competently handling my life. But I can tell you, this is not how I feel. I really feel pulled in all directions, with a spinning head and especially may loose my patience when all four of them talk (to me) at the same time.

By the way, the children are 3 1/2, 6 1/2, 9 and my eldest will turn 12 this June.

Or how about sleep! Yes, they all sleep through the night B U T if they could they would all still sleep in our bed. This may have something to do with the rare alone time I think. (thoughts?) Bedtime stories usually happen in our (big) bed and then we have at least one person in there. Often two. And a sad face telling you that they also want to be in there and the mum telling you, again, that there is not enough space. Especially on weekends there is always a discussion about the bed situation.

And this: Because nothing is ever fair. And me going bananas when I have to hear for the zillion time that ‘It is not fair!’. Ahhh… the constant competition, checking on siblings and who does what. Of course we always try to give the same to everyone, but it is not seen this way through their eyes. And is it the general reply to anything they are not happy with. And it drives me crazy!

Oh and next to ‘not fair’, there is always an argument over something silly. Who got the biggest slice of pizza, who gets the shower first, or who gets the biggest apple.

And the moment you are an awesome parent for one kid means you are failing another one. Example: One child needs a big hug or my full attention to listen to something that has happened. So I do it. And I am the best mum to that child but also the worst to the other ones who think I am rejecting them.

Even when you win, you lose.

Party invitations or playdates. Except for my eldest (by now) everyone always wants to come along. I don’t know if they just inherited my curiosity but it can be awkward to pop up with a row of kids when actually only one of them was invited. Not to mention the extra time it takes to get there and to answer another million questions to where we are going, why and what and all the names.

Also, my 6 year old never got over the fact that she is not the baby in the family. She was meant to be and life decided differently. And to be honest, it is something I am often out of ideas on how to make this fact easier for her. (anyone?) It is not affecting our daily life and she is not bringing it up all the time. But it is there and every here and there she might say how she would like to be the baby in the family or why everyone is always saying that Josephine is so cute. Because that is something people do when they see a small child or baby but obviously that answer is not good enough for her.

To end with: There is no such thing as peace and quiet!

(except when finally everyone is in bed and sleeping, it may happen that I stay up longer than I should… just because I want to enjoy the peace a little longer!)

And yes, in the end it is all worth it. Like I said before in my big family life article – the hustle and bustle can be exhausting but I also love it!

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